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Cover
Table of Contents
Editor's Notes
Donations
Submission
Guidelines
Website
Stories
& Essays
A Wedding Toast For Daddy's
Little Girl
_ By Miriam N. Kotzin
Bread
_ By Debbi Pless
Flowers
_ By Rachel Miller
Gyokusai
_ By
Julie Jordan
Hearts Without Armor
_ By
Angela P. Markham
Mental Constipation and Brain Vomit
_ By
Winnie Khaw
My Best Subject
_ By
Ashley Polker
Piper
_ By
Samantha Rae
Requiem For An Author
_ By
R. Holsen
Sometimes It Pours Only Dogs
_ By
Saana Tykkä
The Black Tape
_ By
Brad Jashinsky
Poetry
A Slave To Time
_ By
Clyde Windjammer
Colour
_ By
Kaleen Love
Death By My Lover
_ By
Jessica Tempestad
I Am A Pineapple
_ By
Rachel Miller
Lament For the Lost Soldier
_ By
Melissa Augeri
Laundry Arcade
_ By
Ashley Polker
Left Silent To Dream of Wine
_ By
Kaleen Love
Mortality
_ By
Henry Grieves
Ode To Microsoft Spell Cheque
_ By
Arielle Demchuk
Reminiscent of Society As An Individual
_ By
Henry Grieves
Ship's Cook
_ By
Heather Inwood
The Phoenix
_ By
Kaleen Love
The Raven and the Dove
_ By
Melissa Augeri
Train Dreamer
_ By
Heather Inwood
Art
& Photography
S. Camargo
_ Photography
and Drawings
David C. Clarke
_ Photography
Wiltekirra Samaxionn
_ Photography
Anca Sandu
_ Paintings
Austin
Tanney
_ Photography
Ray
Tsang
_ Paintings
Mark
Warren
_ Photography
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(Continued)
The Renaissance influenced many aspects of modern history: it literally gave birth to a new world. More importantly it gave way to four of America’s finest crime fighters ever to hit the sewers of New York City. Well they called them dungeons back then, but you get the point. They are Leonardo, Michelangelo,
Donatello, and Raphael.
Back during the Renaissance these four brothers were mere mortal men. They liked to paint, sculpt, invent, and eat lots and lots of pizza. Well they were in Italy after all, so can you blame them?
Leonardo was the leader: he painted the Mona Lisa, who often helped them in crime solving. He also created the Vitruvian Man, but after their transformation he had to re-draw it as a turtle version. Michelangelo was known as a painter mainly because of his job on the Sixteen Chapel. The other fifteen were burned down in the great fire of Alexandria. His first love was sculpting, both sculptures and gyros—what they called pizza’s back in the day. Donatello was a
sculptor who also had a problem conveying his ideas to where his brothers could understand him. He liked to work with bronze and made a statue of David, which in reality looks more like Captain Jack Sparrow from
The Pirates of the Caribbean than that guy from the Bible. Lastly there was Raphael, considered to be the graceful and harmonious brother. He painted the school of Athens, but was not allowed to attend because he was not a philosophy major, which explains why the painting looks like a school before the morning bell has rang rather than them sitting in their desks doing math or some other philosophy crap.
You want to know how this influenced our modern world right? Well after they painted for a few years they turned into giant turtles and moved to New York City—well, New Amsterdam back then. This influenced the cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles based on their sons’ exploits in 90s New York. The personalities and behaviors shifted a little, but it’s still the same story, except for that rat guy. I don’t know where he came from.
I am skipping the next periods in history because they do not interest me; I would rather talk about the few periods of history that interest me greatly. This next section will be mainly history that involves or pertains to America.
Next we will look at the time before and after the Evolutionary War, the most
important war in our history as a nation. Many great men came from that era—for example, and most importantly, George Washington. Washington chopped down a cherry tree when he was a little boy because he wanted to encourage future generations of American children to tell the truth when they had done something wrong. He was also a psychic, because why else would he get himself in trouble if he could not see into the future? Washington based his life on that of the Greek Guy Cincinnati, who dropped his hoe and helped his friends whenever they were in trouble.
Washington became involved with the Great War for the Empire because he was mad at the strict restriction placed on him and his farmer pals.
He was elected Commander-and-Chief of the Congressional Army because he was the only man capable of firing up the troops for battle. That and the whole seeing into the future thing. In the end, and after nearly starving with his troops at Valley Forge Mall, General Cornrow surrendered to him at Yorktown. Eventually a government was formed called America, and Washington was elected its President, because the Constitution says that the Commander-and-Chief is the President, and they could not go against it. They didn’t really want to either because he was so likeable.
Ben Franklin, another great man of the Revolution, invented electricity. He invented it one evening while flying a kite during a thunderstorm. With his invention of electricity he went on to invent the light bulb.
The Twentieth Century
had many great periods. I think one of the most interesting periods in the Twentieth Century was the Cold War. The war started because the Russians wanted to use atomic technology to heat their country, which was extremely cold. They were very mad when they were not allowed to do this, so they fought back. There are several important people from this time, one being Karl Marx. Karl
Marx—Harpo and Groucho’s older
brother—was not able to appear in
Duck Soup. He could not appear because he was very busy writing the Communist Manifesto. After its completion he was named the father of Communism. After his death Lenin took over, and he did very bad things to his own people. He was also responsible for the death of Czar Nicholas II. I still can’t believe that even after all the terrible things Lenin did that Paul McCartney would let him join the Beatles.
Those are the most important periods in history that we have covered so far. I hope that this essay about my favorite historical periods has enlightened you as much as when I studied them in my various history classes.
To conclude, these people and events
have greatly influenced our lives while having stood out in the cloth of time. And considering that they frequently mix stripes, polka dots, and plaids, it is pretty hard to stand out in that huge clash. Anyway, it is the important stuff that they want us to remember, so who cares if they skip a few hundred years of history? Come on, they skip all the crap that happened before man. Besides, why do we even need to know how World War I turned out, they had another one, isn’t that just as good as learning about the first? Either way, it’s less homework for me and that is always a good thing. The End.
ASHLEY POLKER was raised in a suburb of Houston, Texas. Creativity struck her at
a young age, and she entertained herself by creating her own comic books and stories.
Today, Ashley is a college student, but she still finds time among her studies to make humorous observations and craft them into short works. In May of 2006, she will graduate from the University of Houston with a BA in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. |
